12 ways to Destress as a Parent
Destressing can be difficult to do, especially if you're a parent and you feel like you have no time to do it. Often times your child comes first and your self care comes last. However, in order to have the patience you want to have, your self care should also be a priority. It might not look the same as it once did, and that is okay. Adapt. Get creative. Sometimes you may need more and sometimes you may need less. Sometimes you can find time alone, and sometimes you may have to find the time with your children. Sometimes what you can do doesn't feel like enough but 5 minutes of something is better than nothing. If you aren't feeling rested, that's a good sign you need more time for yourself. Aside from making sure you are getting enough sleep, here are a few things to try (and not all of them take a huge amount of time).
1. Exercise. It may seem counter-intuitive to exercise when you are low on energy and stressed out, but you have to use energy to get energy. Exercise releases endorphins - the hormone that makes us feel happy and reduces stress. If you don't have time, even just a ten minute walk helps.
2. Breathe. It's involuntary, right? So why focus on it? If you focus on breathing slower, it can actually activate the section of your nervous system that tells you to calm down. Try breathing in for a count of 4, holding for a count of 7, and letting it out for a count of 8.
3. Sing along or listen to music. This isn't just fun - it also releases those happy hormones and very easy to do with kids.
4. Take a bath or get a massage. These can both be physically relaxing, which helps us mentally relax.
5. Bake. It's not only a good distraction, but you'll also have something delicious to eat afterwards. You can even do this with your kids, depending on how old they are.
6. Watch a favorite movie. There is just something about watching a movie you really enjoyed again that brings you back to a good mood. If you can't find time to do this alone, compromise and watch a kid friendly movie together.
7. Read. It's easy to get lost in a good book. It also helps keep worrying down to a minimum. Audio books while you are driving or doing chores are also a great way to give your brain a break from thinking.
8. Treat yourself. Go eat your favorite snack, or buy yourself something you wouldn't normally buy. It feels good to reward ourselves once in a while.
9. Spend time with your friends/family. When you hang out with people that lift you up, it makes difficult times not seem as difficult.
10. Color or meditate. These ones aren't for everyone, but both allow our minds to clear and reflect - which can be a really helpful escape or insight when you have a lot on your mind. This is also an easy one to do with kids if they like to color.
11. Schedule worry time. This may sound silly - but if you are someone who spends the entire weekend worrying about work on Monday, giving yourself permission to worry for only an hour on Saturday morning allows you to enjoy the rest of your weekend, while still allowing yourself to feel worried.
12. Dance Party. Can't find time alone? Dance with your kids! Play a game where you are moving.
Part of taking care of yourself is making sure that you have time to do it. That may mean you actually have to schedule it into your schedule, and you may have to tell someone no, or adapt/compromise plans with your kids. Some people may destress and/or re-energize by being around people, while other people may need alone time. Sometimes you may need a distraction, or to have fun and enjoy yourself; other times you may want to just sit in your feelings. Self care comes in many shapes and sizes. The first step is figuring out what works best for you at what times. Take the time. Be the parent you want to be.
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